This article is written by Claudia Jeffrey
A person experiences different kinds of love throughout their life, each different from the other. There is the first love or puppy love, the one-sided love, the all-consuming love, the mature love, and so forth. During the course of each relationship, we learn a new lesson, and with that new-found knowledge, we enter into the next relationship. However, the final relationship we have maybe the most mature, but it is not necessarily with ‘the one.’ Oftentimes people settle because they are tired of the heartbreaks. Yet, why do relationships fail?
Making Your Relationship Last
Relationships that do not evolve succumb to an ugly faith, which might even cause you to lose your ultimate love, your soulmate. People say that the timing wasn’t right, conditions were bad, they grew apart, the love faded, it didn’t work out, but all of that is just bogus. If you want to make it work, then you make it work (but you shouldn’t in some cases). This is only possible by strengthening your bond.
Strengthen your bond to save your relationship and grow. Reach that level of comfort, security, and maturity with your partner. Pass the test of time by evolving in and with your relationship.
Strengthening The Bond
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Your relationship can withstand any storm if your bond is strong. Strengthening your bond will nurture your love and make you last forever. You can have that all-consuming love watch in rom-coms, hear about in songs, and read in books. You can have more than that if, as a couple, you put effort in strengthening your bond.
Here are a few tips that can strengthen your bond:
Accepting Their Individuality
Accept the individuality of your partner. That is what had impressed and attracted you to them in the first place. However, many people start resenting the same qualities in a person that they once found irresistible. They expect their partner to become someone that they are not, regardless of if their partner’s feelings or opinions.
This is heartbreaking for their partner, who feels like their significant other doesn’t love, understand, or value them. It can develop severe insecurities and confidence issues in a person.
Supporting Them Even If You Disagree
Every couple has arguments and disagreements. No matter how alike two people are, they can’t agree or feel the same way in the same situation. However, even if you might not agree with your partner on something, you need to support them on it, so if they fall, you are there to catch them. You need to side with them in front of others.
Also, you need to trust them to make their own decisions in some situations like at work or with their family. Do not try to control their actions, force them to do what you think is right, or get them to agree with you.
Put your opinion in front of them, discuss, tell them you disagree and back off. If you want someone in your life, then you need to know that no decision or situation is important enough to cause a rift over. Supporting one another in pursuing your goals, dreams, or gut is how you can strengthen your bond.
“Supporting each other through thick and thin, snow and storm, choice and change makes sure that none of the two are left behind.” – Madison Rogers [Freelance Editor, Academist Help]
Compromise And Respect Each Other’s Opinions
Respect each other’s opinions, discuss matters that affect you both before making a decision, and try to reach middle ground in a standoff.
Compromising is part of every healthy relationship if you want it to last. However, do not let this compromise become a sacrifice on the part of any one. Always being the one to give in is not healthy for any person or the relationship they are in. A relationship where a person can no longer be themselves or have to give up all that they have is not one that will last. Even if by some miracle and lots of perseverance it does, it will be a very unhappy one. It gives rise to negative feelings and resentment.
Moreover, it is poisonous for a person’s mental health and disastrous for the personalities of both people in a relationship. In this case, it is better to let go. Ego has no place in a relationship. On the other hand, reaching a compromise is healthy, mature, and beneficial for both people in terms of being a couple and individually.
“No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater…The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that’s the key. It’s like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.” – Sarah Dessen [American novelist]
Maintaining A Steady Stream Of Communication
Keep communicating about anything and everything with your partner when in a relationship. Don’t hold back on your feelings. Keep each other up to date with the latest happenings in your life, and discuss any concerns that you might have.
Don’t cement any wrong deduction or interpretation in your mind by not discussing something with your partner regardless of how petty it is. If it bothered you, then it was important.
Don’t only discuss negative or stressful things. Also, talk about random things and happy memories. Don’t ever feel like it is better to shut off or forget. Forgetting might erase something from your mind, but it will stay in your subconscious.
Communication is the key to every healthy, seasoned, and comfortable relationship. If you feel like this is somewhere you lack behind other couples; you need to work on improving communication in your relationship.
“Communication is the fuel that keeps the fire of your relationship burning, without it, your relationship goes cold.” – William Paisley
Adopt Each Other’s Interests
You don’t need to suffer through something you hate or change your personality and mold your interests to be the same as your partner’s. Just give the things your partner likes or enjoys doing a shot; you never know what you might like.
There isn’t anything wrong with trying new things, especially if it makes your partner happy. Sharing some interests and hobbies would allow you to have more activities you can do together so you can spend more time with each other.
Spend Quality Time Together
Spending some ‘alone time’ is as necessary as doing things together as a couple. It all falls under the category of spending quality time together.
Every couple must spend time together to keep the love alive. Leading separate lives, spending little time together, staying busy, and doing your own thing will kill your relationship.
Spending time allows you to be in sync, feel the sparks, develop chemistry, stay in love, and remain attached. Not doing so will make you used to the single life, which will not only cause you to grow apart and no longer be on the same page. If you know how great it is to spend time together, only then will you miss the other or crave for them, both of which are proofs of the existence of your bond.
“My husband and I have been going for a date night for 20 years now and to say we are still going strong is an understatement. We have 4 beautiful children, our individual careers and our passions, but we still find time for each other.” – Cathy Marison [Family and Parenting Editor, CrowdWriter]
Show Love And Care
Showing love and care is as important as saying it our loud and vice versa. Shower your partner will love and affection. Take care of them. Be attentive to their health, problems, feelings, and everything else without turning into a freak.
Replace Insecurity With Trust
Insecurity is an easy killer for any relationship. It might be hard to trust your partner, especially if you have been cheated on in your past relationship, have abandonment issues, or had a tough childhood.
Personal insecurities and low self-worth also can prove lethal if you let them get out of hand. Trust your partner that they love you know that you are good enough. If you don’t believe in yourself, then there will come a time when your partner might not too.
However, do not be blinded to the signs of cheating, and don’t get overconfident in yourself to the point where you stop putting effort in your relationship. Just trust your partner. Cement the lyrics of Faith by George Michael stated below:
‘Cause I gotta have faith
I gotta’ have faith
Because I gotta have faith, faith, faith
I got to have faith, faith, faith
On the other hand, be careful not to do things that make your partner insecure or mistrust you like talking to an ex behind their back.
Cut Out The Toxicity
Identify toxic traits in yourself and your partner that might be affecting your relationship and work on eradicating them. A few toxic traits and habits might be jealousy, egotism, constantly demanding reassurances, taking your significant other for granted, double standards, making your partner feel guilty or overly needy for wanting to spend time with you.
Remember What Is Important
Do you remember the feeling you had when you fell in love with your partner? Do you remember the life you guys wanted to build together? Do you remember the good times? Do you remember all the times they saved you from yourself and others? Do you remember what they mean to you?
They are the softest warmest shoulder to cry on, the most sincere friend, closest confidante, most honest advisor, a loving partner, a passionate lover, the most hilarious human with the kindest heart, the love of your life and more. Remember ‘who’ they are to you and remember how you feel about them.
Love is a beautiful thing; it can be painful, and it might require some effort, but all things that are worthwhile take time and effort. Don’t give up on your relationship. Strengthen your bond with your partner to experience a love like no other with these bits of advice. This advice is not just for new couples. Those who are losing their spark can also learn a thing or two from this, as well as those starting a new chapter aka. planning their wedding.
Claudia Jeffrey is a romantic lady and mother of two, who has been living with her partner for 12 years now. She is working as the Assistant Manager For Research & Development at King Essay and is on the way to becoming a published author.